Fridays are a funny day! I don’t mean ha ha funny, though the loud Hawaiian shirt I wore today was ha ha funny. I mean that they seem to drag on forever, but nobody in the office really does any work. When I walked around the office today, I noticed that a lot of people looking at their internet and placing their Australian Rules football tips. In my opinion this is a total waste of the organisations productivity. Now as an overpaid, unused manager it is my duty to install as many “Dilbert” moments into my staff day. Such as today, I asked for a report on the revamping of the office carpet.
I wanted to know the colour they had selected and wha
t other options had been available and I wanted it by 3pm. Oh did I mention I asked for this report at 2.45pm. At the last meeting on this said topic, I made my position on the matter very clear, that the preferred option was baby fur seal cream carpet that was made from baby fur seals that had been clubbed to death, preferably in Canada. However, the tree hugging hippies, otherwise known as my staff presented their selection of standard office grey, easy to clean, stain resistant carpet. While practical, it is not what I wanted. They continued to talk about the inhuman and bad publicity installing baby fur seal carpet into the office would bring. This to me was most boring! I ask you, the reader, what would you rather have, a baby fur seal cream carpet or a boring and plain non stain easy to clean office gray carpet. That’s right readers, exactly , the baby fur seal carpet.
t other options had been available and I wanted it by 3pm. Oh did I mention I asked for this report at 2.45pm. At the last meeting on this said topic, I made my position on the matter very clear, that the preferred option was baby fur seal cream carpet that was made from baby fur seals that had been clubbed to death, preferably in Canada. However, the tree hugging hippies, otherwise known as my staff presented their selection of standard office grey, easy to clean, stain resistant carpet. While practical, it is not what I wanted. They continued to talk about the inhuman and bad publicity installing baby fur seal carpet into the office would bring. This to me was most boring! I ask you, the reader, what would you rather have, a baby fur seal cream carpet or a boring and plain non stain easy to clean office gray carpet. That’s right readers, exactly , the baby fur seal carpet.Now you may be thinking, it is not very friendly to use clubbed dead seals to make carpet, I would agree, but when clubbing baby fur seals is a national sport for Canada, then we have only three options. One, feed clubbed seal to a polar bear, two feed the clubbed seals to an Eskimo, now that’s diabolical, how dare Eskimo’s eat baby fur seal, that’s like an Eskimo eating their mother, though I can’t remember if Eskimo’s are cannibals. Finally, we could use them to make carpet for my office. Think about it, if we all had baby fur seals for carpet, we wouldn’t need shoes, we would all want to walk barefooted on the baby fur seal cream carpet, I know I would, therefore you would. This would reduce the number of sweat shops in developing country making cheap shoes. Increasing the standard of living and as such I get my baby fur seal carpet. It’s a win win any way you look at it.
Until Next Time, live like a Sevarg.
Friday 27 Mar 09
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